Monday, May 9, 2011

A Hug was my best gift to my mom on Mother's Day

I hope my card  got to my mom on time. We live only 5 minutes away but I decided to surprise her with a card in the mail that says, "I love you". That is huge, even though it's just in writing and not it's the words that come out of my mouth. I wish I could say that over and over and over to her. I just never say it like that, ever. Not in my mother tongue, nor English. Although, if it will ever be said, it will be in English. My thought process, my emotion, and my expression now are all in English. 

My mom never said "I love you" to me, but I know she does, more than I can ever comprehend. They say, "you will love your mother more when you become a mother". I can't wait for that day to happen, but for now, I do what I can, to express my gratitude to her, in my own unspoken "I-love-you". We spent most of the afternoon yesterday shopping and having sushi buffet. My mom loves sushi. We got some new summer clothes. We were having so much fun as the four hours flied by so quick. If it hadn't been because of work, I would have spent all day shopping with her. She clearly didn't want the day to end, and neither did I. Although, my dad kept calling us to see when we would have gotten home. I wonder what I would do with my dad for a whole day, for Father's day a month from now. Maybe washing our cars? :)

I caught myself giving my mom a hug from behind (with my arms wrapping around her) several times yesterday. That was huge. Hugging and any kinds of physical affections have been a shortcoming in my family. Partially cultural influences, maybe personality, I'm not sure. But as I am emerging into this new culture of affections, verbal expressions, and somewhat individualism, I crave to build that connection with my parents, my mom specifically. I was proud to be able to hug her, just like that, with no conscious effort. Here's to more hugging with my momma! :)


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