If

If Genie was by my side
I wish for sunshine all day
365 days of the year here
where I live. Ocean. Lakes. Trees.
all immersed in the eternal sunshine.

If Genie was by my side
I wish the world is free
of poverty. violence. war. preventable deaths.
I wish everyone is completely free
of hatred. pain. and broken hearts.

But as they say it so:
Life goes on. Things happens, for
a reason. Unbeknownst to you. But
have faith. Stay true to yourself.
Eventually things will fall into places
the way they're supposed to be...


A little late but here it is, last Friday's six words - If

So this is how chemistry feels like...

I have felt the butterflies in my stomach before.
I have felt the twists and the turns of my gut, which at times were mistaken to be the mysterious zaa-zaa-zou.
And I have also felt the nagging of my intuition, deep in my core, telling me to get out.

But I should know the differences - the excitement
of the true, genuine, undeniable, and consuming chemistry,
that awakes the deepest part of my heart and soul.

That was what I felt.
Again,
After a long time.

Contentment

After an exhausting weekend, I am feeling very content at this moment. My only evening with no plan this week, I'm kicking my feet up after cooking, dinner, and now watching my guilty pleasure show - "the Bachelorette". I know the show is corny, unreal, all planned, etc., but hey, it is my free night for myself, I get to enjoy whatever I want...

Easy as that, my attempt of the one Vietnamese dish this week turns out great. Braised catfish with pork belly. It's supposed to be in a clay pot. Even though I don't have one, it still looks pretty tasty, doesn't it?

The power of a delicious meal. The satisfaction of being able to put together a quick and tasty dinner for myself. I'm happy. I'm relaxed. I'm not thinking too much (opposite of such a busy mind I had all day). And that is contentment. I realized the new path I have started a few months ago hit a snag. I'm not all "healed" and  all strong again just yet. The dark moments can still creep out of nowhere - unannounced. But at least I have nights like this, when my favorite activities put a smile on my face.

I can see it through and through now how much of an Introvert I am. I recharge by alone-time. I don't shy away from group, socializing, or what not, but definitely, I need my me-time. It's not about being lonely. It is about enjoying my time alone so I can be more energetic and confident afterward.

The fragrant of delicious food

... is so addictive and infectious.

roast chicken with herb tomato sauce

I love food. I love to eat and I love cooking. Yesterday, a couple friends and I attended a basic cooking class where I learned a few new tips in cooking, making stock, coulis, roasting, and several of those knife techniques. It was also great fun! Since last night, food has been on my mind.

chiffonading and mincing the night away

I prepared my lunches for the rest of the week. The brownie is smelling great from the oven tonight. I have been going through some recipes, planning ahead for next week's menu. This certainly doesn't help my own weight loss goals that I just started with a friend. The truth is I need to tone my muscles more than losing pounds, but I'm doing this to encourage my friend.

I am proud to call myself an "economical" and practical cook, not as making the fancy, chef-like, beautifully-plated dishes every time. But I am good at planning and executing a weekly menu that is balance, healthy, and delicious - yet doesn't take a long time to cook. Kind of like the Rachel Ray's 30 minute kind of meals.

What occurs to me tonight is that I have got a decent foundation, learning mostly from my mom. All those years watching her cook or playing the sous chef, definitely helped. I can maneuver the Vietnamese dishes pretty well. However, I haven't cooked a lot of those lately. It seems that as I have been expanding into other types of cuisines, American, Italian, French and others so much, I have forgotten to practice cooking my "mother-food". I decided that starting today (next week), I will alternate to include one Vietnamese dish to one other dish in my weekly menu.

Looking forward to documenting this new cooking adventure by pictures! :)

happy happy joy joy

the joy of being deeply loved
is so foreign to my soul
I wait. I seek. I yearn.
it's still nowhere to be seen.

I run away from genuine interest
I push away care and respect
I wonder how joy isn't there
Only fear and pain, irking below.

Happy Happy Joy Joy I'd say
come to me please - unexpected so
easy, simple, natural, not having to
try so hard. Where are you?


six word fridays: joy - hosted by Melissa

The power to choose

Gotta be grateful for the simple things in life - today I chose a coconut creme pie, my most favorite pie ever!

I don't typically have a sweet tooth, but I have my moments. I enjoy desserts very much when they are "the ones" I choose. It occurred to me over the long Memorial Day weekend that I do have a lot of power on my hands, when it comes to making decisions. I can pretty much do whatever I want, go for whatever I choose. To some people, that is such a privilege, almost a luxury, to have that power. 

The thing is - not all of my decisions align with what others think I ought to do. It is hard when they are your loved ones. My parents probably did not like it one bit when I moved out, nor do they think I should skip church every Sunday, just because I no longer benefit from it. But I chose it. I chose to live it that way. 

Choices come with responsibilities. You must stand up for yourself. You must take responsibilities. Good or bad, it's all yours. No one else will be the blame. And you shouldn't be the blame either. Sometimes we make decisions based on fear, insecurities, or low self-esteem, or based on some twisted ways of thinking that you need to do so to please others. Your choices sometimes can be oh-not-so-good for yourself, but as long as you make them with authenticity, considering all information, then running with it is the way to go. Because, at the end of the day, you will not regret. And that is what I stand by.


Have you always made decisions that are true to you? Were there times where you were inhibited in making your own choices? What were the reasons? On the other hand, should one always have the ultimate power to choose? 

Intelligence

IQ - check
Emotional Intelligence - not my first nature, maybe blaming it on being an ISTJ, but I have gotten much better over the years. I guess it is true that it does come with age and being wised up through experience.
Dating Intelligence - I wish there is a class I could take! :)


Now, imagine that... in your heart, too


I am a life-long student by choice. I wish there is a manual for everything that I can just refer to. But there are things you just have to navigate on your own...

Unfortunately, life throws a fork at me at the moment. I wish there is a check list to help me yield a decision, a risk-free decision.

Being your authentic self is easier said than done. Having clear boundaries to stick to your own authenticity at all times is a must. But we are all human after all. We sway, we feel, we kick, we scream, we fight through the muddle of mixed emotions, of right and wrong, of positives and negatives, of what ifs, of perhaps...and we stall.

Let's hope this doesn't stall me for long. Let's hope however this turns out, will add a little more intelligence to my dating quotient.

Just do it.


(Image courtesy of http://bit.ly/kYzeNl)